The Words We Say — And the Ones That Stay

Some days you wake up feeling low for no particular reason.

Nothing dramatic has happened. No catastrophe. No earth-shattering news. And yet, there is a heaviness you cannot quite name. You feel irritable. Slightly unreasonable. Ready to pick an argument over absolutely nothing. I was having one of those days.

My son sent me one of his latest stories to read. On any other day, I would have read it with interest, maybe even pride. But that day, all I could focus on were the ads popping up every few lines on the website — flashing, blinking, interrupting. They annoyed me more than they should have.

So I messaged him about it. Instead of explaining or defending the platform, he sent me a Rajinikanth GIF — folded hands, fingers pointed upward, that unmistakable calm expression. And I laughed.

Just like that, the heaviness shifted. One tiny animated image altered the emotional temperature of my entire day.

It made me think.

We underestimate words. We underestimate tone. We underestimate the energy behind even the smallest response. We have all had those moments — stretching minor irritations into major discussions. And then one softened sentence changes everything.

I have spoken about this in my mindfulness page on V-day (https://www.page4mentors.com/blog) — how love is rarely in grand gestures, but in the words we choose on ordinary days. A quiet “It’s okay.” A calm “I understand.” A simple “I’m here.” Sometimes, even just sitting beside someone without trying to fix anything. They don’t look dramatic. But they work.

My love for K-dramas is an open secret. Recently, I watched 18 Again — about a man who transforms back into his 18-year-old self and realises how much he left unsaid to his family, even though he deeply felt it. Sometimes all he needed were the simplest words — “bogo sip-eo” (I miss you) and “gwaenchan-a” (It’s okay).

What stayed with me was not the fantasy. It was the regret of unsaid words. Many married men assume their spouse will understand their feelings without anything being said out loud. And many women quietly wait to hear those exact words — spoken calmly, lovingly.

It is those reassuring words, spoken in a calm tone, that energise relationships and strengthen them.

And then my mind wandered to something more personal.

In arguments, I tend to be emotional. My husband speaks with composure — measured, calm. And more often than not, that tone wins. But years ago, during one of my earliest attempts at driving, he said something in frustration about my driving skills. He may not remember saying it. I do.

Even today, I hesitate to sit behind the wheel. Those words stayed.

One sentence quietly shaped my confidence. That is the power of words.

They do not vanish after they are spoken. They settle somewhere inside us. They replay in our minds. They influence choices long after the speaker has moved on.

Most of us would have seen that Instagram reel about the experiment with two plants — one spoken to kindly, the other harshly. One thrived. The other wilted. Whether or not we debate the science, the metaphor is powerful.

Which brings me back to that morning.

It was mindfulness that made me pause and notice the shift — the exact moment when my irritation dissolved into laughter. Earlier, I might have carried that mood into dinner, into conversation, into the next day. Instead, a Rajinikanth GIF intervened.

We never quite know which words will linger for years… and which ones will rescue a mood in seconds.

Children absorb even more. Teenagers absorb in silence. They may roll their eyes, but the words stay.

So if you want your teenagers to listen, speak softly when needed. Firmly when required. And occasionally — even with a meme.

After all, who can beat the power of memes?!!

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“இனிய உளவாக இன்னாத கூறல்
கனிஇருப்பக் காய்கவர்ந் தற்று.”
(Kural 100)

To speak harsh words when pleasant ones are available
is like choosing unripe fruit when ripe fruit is within reach.